Jun 222009
You know what is wrong with television today? Not enough opening narration, that’s what! Back in the day, you could count on the producers to slap a few words together to sum up the premise of the show you were about to see, little tone poems worming their way into the subconscious week after week.
Here is a selection of opening narrations that will surely trigger memories, or at least drive you mad attempting to recall. Post your answers in the comments, no googling!
- “A shadowy flight into the dangerous world of a man who does not exist.”
- “These men promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Los Angeles underground. Today, still wanted by the government, they survive as soldiers of fortune.”
- “It’s a port of call, home away from home for diplomats, hustlers, entrepreneurs, and wanderers. <Redacted> and <redacted> wrapped in two million, five hundred thousand tons of spinning metal, all alone in the night. It can be a dangerous place, but it’s our last, best hope for peace.”
- “Fabulous secret powers were revealed to me the day I held aloft my magic sword and said <redacted>”
- “By the way my name is Max – I take care of them. Which isn’t easy, ’cause when they met it was murder!”
- “The year is 1987, and NASA launches the last of America’s deep space probes.”
- “Now the story of a wealthy family who lost everything, and the one son who had no choice but to keep them all together.”
- “This is the voice of the <redacted>. We know that you can hear us, Earth man!”
- “I am the most powerful weapon of destruction in the two universes”
- “There is nothing wrong with your television set. Do not attempt to adjust the picture.”
- “Theorizing that one could <redacted> within his own <redacted>, Dr. <redacted> stepped into the <redacted> — and vanished.”
- “This is the story of a time long ago, a time of myth and legend. When the ancient gods were petty and cruel, and they plagued mankind with suffering. Only one man dared to challenge their power”
- “Transuranic heavy elements may not be used where there is life! Medium atomic weights are available!”
- “…and he must let the world think that he is dead, until he can find a way to control the raging spirit that dwells within him…”
Bonus movie narration:
- “From the dawn of time we came; moving silently down through the centuries…”
Bonus Bonus Epilogue narration:
- “Fleeing from the <redacted> tyranny, the last <redacted>, <redacted>, leads a rag-tag fugitive fleet on a lonely quest.”
Related posts:
“it was moiyder”. I was amazed by that accent as a child…
1) Knight Rider
CAPTAIN SCARLET!
2) A Team
3) Babylon 5
4) no idea, but I’m going with Big Black Booty Mommas
5) Max Hedroom
6) Buck Rogers
7) no idea
9) Lexx
10) Twighlight Zone
11)
12) Conan
13) Saphire and Steele (AWESOMEST SHOW EVAR!)
14) hahaha, the Hulk!
bonus 1 ) Highlander
2) Battlestar Galactica (Original)
So far Chuck is at the top of the leader-board. Who is next?
2. A-Team
3. either Babylon 5 or DS9
4. He-Man
8. Captain Scarlet
10. Twilight Zone
12. Hercules
I must either be too young, or just not watch the right type of shows
Not bad Jamie, you got a couple that Chuck missed. Being a bit younger, you may have missed most of the Opening Narration heyday.
Not doing so well myself… these are the only ones I know without cheating.
2. A-Team
4. Masters Of The Universe
6. Buck Rogers In The 25th Century
14. The Incredible Hulk
“Like sands through the hour glass, so are the days of our lives.”
“Like sands through the hour glass, so are the days of our lives.” – damn, forgot about that one. It should have been in the quiz.
No. 5; “Hart to Hart”…
Correct. By my count, that just leaves numbers 7, 10 and 11 unanswered.
(Everyone is wrong about 10 so far)
7 is, umm, Dallas? No real idea…
10 is “The Outer Limits” according to my wife.
11 is “Quantum Leap” according to my friend Bridget.
7 – arrested development
Excellent, that’s the last of them. Thanks to all our contestants, see you next time.
1. Knight Rider
2. The A team
3. Babylon 5
4. He-man
5. Hart to Hart
6. Buck Rogers
7. ?
8. ?
9. ?
10. The twilight zone
11. Quantum Leap
12. Hercules
13. Sapphire and Steel
14. The incredible Hulk
Bonus epilogue narration
Battlestar Galactica