Fatso

I just joined Fatso – it seems like an OK deal if you like to watch DVDs. Their library includes a lot of TV shows and old movies, and they have a great feature where they send the DVDs in a TV series in sequence so you never get stuck watching episodes out of order.

Their selection seems good but has some strange omissions, and the search function seems a little weird. I wanted to watch Rounders, a generally well received 1998 film staring Matt Damon and Edward Norton…

Fatso website screenshot

No Fatso, that is not quite what I asked for.

Film Review : Star Trek

Once again Hollywood dredges up the corpse of a much-loved TV show to desecrate with a pointless remake that misses the whole point of wha….Hey wait a minute! My brain just typed that automatically. Even now I have trouble gathering my wits to write the truth, so shocking and unbelievable it is! Give me a minute and I will try again…

startrek

The new Star Trek film is actually pretty good.
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Freaky Friday

Today has thrown up some examples of what strange, dark times we live in.

Firstly the trailer for the live-action version of Where the Wild Things Are is released and turns out not to be a monumental travesty.

Then John Banks is quoted in the Herald saying something that I kinda-sortof-maybe actually agree with.

Has the world gone totally mad?

I am in a fragile state. If my expectations are shattered just once more today I may explode. All it would take is for me to find that the latest TV series from Japan is not incomprehensibly insane.



View at youtube.com

Phew! That was a close one!

Movie Review : Watchmen

Watchmen is a difficult movie to categorize. As an adaption of an existing work, it is excellent. The attention to detail is amazing, the cast all fit well with their characters and an impressive amount of the plot is exactly the same. A for effort.

watchmenAs a stand-alone work, Watchmen is less of a success. It is very, very long and filled with talky scenes whose purpose only becomes clear later and sometimes not even then. It’s not that it is a terrible movie, just that a viewer not familiar with the source material might easily lose track of what is going on. So much of the plot hinges on the motivations of the characters – the book provides extensive back stories that the film cannot linger on, leaving the story feeling a little flat.

The production values are first rate, with excellent special effects. The actors are all look the part and for the most part are pretty good, except for guy playing Rorschach, who is excellent. Watchmen is an ensemble piece and the fact that none of the characters are played by major stars works to its advantage. The R rating is very well deserved, the film is quite gory in places and there is a lot of nudity. Watchmen may be the first mainstream film to have more male than female nudity, which I guess could be called some sort of landmark.

On the whole, I would recommend Watchman to anyone who enjoyed the book. I would still recommend it to others that enjoy the odd superhero film, but others will probably be bored.

Here endeth the review. The following section contains spoilers and crowing about how smart I am. Discerning readers may want to stop here – you have been warned.
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Nixon Meets Robocop

Nixon meets Robocop

I mentioned this picture once before, but I thought it deserved another outing. The reasons are clear:

  • It contains Robocop
  • It contain Richard Nixon
  • It contains Richard Nixon meeting Robocop
  • Richard Nixon looks amazingly happy
  • Robocop looks a little perturbed
  • The logo behind them is for The Boy Scouts of AmericaBoys Clubs of America

While you are enjoying the image, I hope you realize that somebody back in 1988 ruined their health smoking the amount of crack required to dream up and organize a meeting between disgraced former president and the star of an R rated film at a children’s event.

Film Review : Cloverfield

Cloverfield

Cloverfield is really the kind of film you should see without knowing anything about it. I’ll try not to give too much away in this review, but I will write about certain aspects of the film that you may not wish to read right now. All I will say in the first paragraph is that Cloverfield concerns a group of twenty somethings in New York who are trying to survive a natural disaster, and that the film is put together in a rather unique and interesting way. Also, that it is very short but exciting. One of the better movies I have seen in quite a while, in fact.

But enough of that – if you have already seen Cloverfield, or don’t really care then read on. Otherwise, get thee to a theatre.

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Movie Review: Beyond Re-Animator

beyondreanimator.jpg

Herbert West has a problem. The world just doesn’t appreciate his genius, so much so that he has been rotting in jail after his previous experiments into reanimating dead flesh got a little out of hand. But now thanks to a new prison doctor with an agenda of his own, Dr. West may be able to finally complete his work.

Horror movies sequels almost always follow the law of diminishing returns and this is no exception. The first Re-Animator movie was a fantastically dark comedy; this film veers slightly more towards goofy satire but is still pretty watchable if not actually very creepy.

The DVD box claims that it is based on a story by H.P. Lovecraft, perhaps there should be a Oscar for “least faithful adaption of a written work”. In particular, I don’t think Lovecraft ever envisioned a fight between an animated severed penis and a angry rat.

Not too bad if you like this sort of thing.

Movie Review: The Name of the Rose

A grisly unexpected death occurs in a 14th century Italian monastery that is shortly to be the venue for an important political and theological debate between the Franciscan order and the representatives of the pope. One of the visiting Franciscan monks has arrived early, and his analytical mind is well suited for the challenge, which is lucky because the bodies soon start mounting up.

The Name of the Rose
CSI: 14th Century Italy was the least popular of the CSI spinoffs

This is one of that rare breed – a film the captures the spirit of a great book. The whole thing plays out like a Sherlock Holmes mystery, and the monastery setting allows for all sorts of secret passageways and lantern-lit skullduggery. Sean Connery stars as William of Baskerville (presumably somewhere in Scotland), but the real draw is the scenery. I don’t know where it was filmed, but the whole thing looks fantastic. Although not as detailed as the book, the film manages to include all the various details of life in the monastery and the theological thinking of the time. This all makes for much better viewing than it may sound.

Name of the Rose
“You have paid the price for your lack of vision”

Highly recommended

Yet Another Movie Review

Maybe it’s my upbringing, but every now and then I like to sit and watch a certain old movie. The story is well worn; perhaps not as popular among todays hip youth as it once was, but still of relevance today. Not for nothing do some call it the greatest story ever told – a man rising from the dead to heal the world through his sacrifice. I think we all know who I am talking about:
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Movie Review: The Departed

Another gangster movie by Martin Scorsese? Count me in!

The Departed tells the highly unlikely story of two cops, one deep undercover in the Irish Mafia, the other on the police team dedicated to bringing down the gangsters but secretly working for them. During the course of the film, they find out about each other’s existence but not identities, and so begins a game of cat-pretending-to-be-a-mouse and mouse-who-is-really-a-cat. To make things even more Shakespearean, they both end up sleeping with the same woman.

The Departed is filled with some major acting talent, which helps a lot to gloss over some of the more ridiculous plot points. Jack Nicholson is particularly convincing as the slimy gangster lord. Ultimately, I was disappointed with this film. Its not that it is bad, in fact it is very good. But it’s not great.

Recommended if you like this sort of thing.

Movie Review: Pan’s Labyrinth

A young girl travels with her mother to a remote military base in the Spanish countryside to live with her stepfather, an army captain. While there, she meets a magical faun who gives her three fantastic quests to carry out. This would be complicated enough, but in the meantime it is 1944 and the Spanish civil war rages on, the fort that they are staying at is full of intrigue, the girl’s mother pregnancy is not going well, and her new stepfather is a sadistic fascist.

Pan’s Labyrinth is the type of magic realism that is not often seen in movies. I guess it resembles older films like The Wizard of Oz and Labyrinth in some ways, but Pan’s Labyrinth is a much darker tale despite featuring such a young protagonist.

panslabyrinthguy.jpgThis guy has excellent hand-eye coordination

The film is also unusual in that the story focuses more on the events in the real world, while the fantasy elements exist more as a subplot. In fact, you could edit out the fantasy scenes altogether and still have a complete story. The deliberate contrast between the sinister creatures the girl must encounter in her quest with the more mundane human monsters she must live with is well done. This is not a story for young children – the film earns its R16 certification with several gory scenes.

Pan’s Labyrinth is one of the better films I have seen all year; highly recommended!

Movie Review: The 7th Voyage of Sinbad

The legendary sailor is forced to form a crew of untrustworthy criminals and sail to a remote island filled with every kind of stop-montion animated peril when his fiancée is cursed.

I had good memories of the Sinbad from watching them on TV as a child, and I am happy to report that The 7th Voyage of Sinbad has aged quite well for a nearly 50 year old fantasy film. The plot is simplistic to the extreme and is mainly an excuse to move from action set-piece to action set-piece, but it gets the job done. Unlike other films of the era (and today), 7th Voyage does not skimp on the special effects, with magical creatures in abundance. Unfortunately, they don’t really do much except fight Sinbad’s crew or each other.

The special effects are by the famous Ray Harryhausen. By todays standards they are not terribly convincing, but they are still immensely appealing due to fantastic (in both senses of the word) design and detail. Many of the creatures exhibit more emotion than most of the cast, and you can see the care and skill that went into the animation.

Highly recommended if you like this sort of thing

Movie Review: The Omega Man

A man made plague has swept the Earth. The small minority not killed outright are driven insane and rendered allergic to sunlight, forcing them to band together into a quasi-religious gang called The Family who hate the old civilisation that made them what they are. Only one man remains unchanged, a doctor who is immune to the contagion.

For the two years since the fall of civilisation the man has been under siege from the others, foraging in the city for supplies during the day while fending off The Family’s attacks by night. Things change when he meets some other unchanged survivors. Might it be possible to rebuild humanity?

A thick slice of early seventies ultra-cheese, The Omega Man is a good example of a film that is more than the sum of its parts. Charlton Heston is exceedingly well cast as a half insane loner who arms himself with automatic rifles against a world he doesn’t fit into, but he shows his limits when the script asks him to laugh a carefree lover’s laugh once he finally meets some other people. The Family are all suitably creepy, particularly Matthias, their leader, although they seem a little inconsistent in their belief system.

The film is well put together and has some very effective scenes of Heston wandering through an empty city. The incidental music is all elevator-lite pseudofunk which only adds to the sense of a world gone terribly wrong. Of course, it wouldn’t be a Charlton Heston movie without a little over-the-top religious symbolism laid on with a trowel, but this is kept to a minimum until the last ten minutes (at which point it really kicks into high gear with a groan-inducing lack of subtlety).

Recommended if you like this sort of thing. IMDB